They are somewhat like a triage of life tasks. You decide what is important to you and make them happen, based on your individual values and needs. Being a partner and mother often feels like I prioritise everyone else before myself and I do. Constantly feeding, clothing, bathing, entertaining and chasing around after my family. My moments of quiet are when the kids are asleep and I’m typing, thinking, brainstorming and writing about whatever crossed my mind that day. There’s no time to blow dry hair, tan or do nails anymore or more to the point, those are no longer my priorities. My kids don’t need glamour Mum. Although my inner voice says I would love to look pretty again.
When a day starts it’s often making sure kids are dressed, fed and bags packed before we begin our morning commute. I often run out of the house in a mix of lounge wear and pjs. It’s also not uncommon to see me wearing ugg boots or scuffs. I have this constant dread that one day I will get stuck on a busy road standing there looking like a mismatched look what the cat dragged in crazy lady with a nine news helicopter doing a breaking story on lady holding up traffic. Story title, What Not To Wear On A School Run. This dread would be eased if I prioritised getting up 15 minutes earlier to look chic and presentable. The reality is I snooze my alarm for another 30 minutes and prioritise me in another way by relishing in my slow wake up because I like the thrill of the imagined nine news helicopter breaking a story on my awful school run attire. On a serious note I am prioritising me time this coming weekend. Booking in a much needed spa package. I won’t share where I’m going just yet as I want to keep it a surprise for my next blog. It’s beige Mum style worthy, trending and award-winning. There will be photos I promise!
Priorities are so important and they change often. I sat down with my partner last week and vented about all the things I needed help with. Yes, that’s right I told him what I needed done to help ease the task of running the household. Even though I’m a stay-at-home mum and am in charge of all the household tasks it can be a little overwhelming at times and as it’s 24/7, completely unpaid and no days off, no workplace escape it can be tiring mentally. You feel taken for granted and unappreciated. Really I just need a break or a reset. When I get to this place I also know it’s because my love language feels neglected. Now don’t get me wrong this does not mean my partner doesn’t love and support me. He does! He just needs a small mental break down to remind him about my love language needs. Such as spending more time with me, organise a date, helping share the load by organising the kids or doing some chores to ease my burden. At first when I mentioned that I needed help with chores etc he was like a cat backed up against the wall. Claws were out and hesitancy followed. But after a while the claws retracted, he saw things from my point of view and I saw things from his and then concluded we would get some help from a cleaner from time to time to help ease that burden on me, well us. Now the next few days went on and I got some assistance with the dishes and points! He made a few extra special efforts, they didn’t go unnoticed. It’s strange that whenever we are unhappy or feeling off with our significant other its generally to do with our priorities. We stop prioritising each other, our partners are not being prioritised, the time with them gets wrapped up in our monotonous routines of work, school and kids. The balance is off. When we get too absorbed and forget about the real reasons why, or sit back and see that our love language is not been met, then it helps us rectify and re-prioritise. It’s all about resetting and reconnecting. You need to have these chats often and open up your line of communication. Much like a spa day for your physical being you need regular date nights for your relationship to have those gruelling undistracted heart-to-hearts. We find it difficult to get out together so we make our date nights at home. Sitting on the back patio drinking a cup of tea and sharing our thoughts. Funny enough we stopped doing that a few months ago and just like that I pinpointed the problem. It’s our priorities! So low and be-hold stop what you’re doing, quickly analyse your situation and figure out what you need to re-prioritise in your life to bring it balance once more.
P.s
The cleaner came today and let me tell you it was worth it!
Sarnia xx
